Who Do You Believe Yourself To Be?

After being asked a few times where can one learn about the at-home program Derek used to heal himself, I’ve added that info at the bottom of this post. Click here to go directly to The Gupta Program. [Joel]

Who do you believe yourself to be?

We’ll come back to that.

Healing is such a powerful word. The word itself has a very soothing implication to it and yet it also has implications that there might be something “wrong with us”. A greater question we can ask ourselves is who or what is actually healing? Are we ourselves sick? Do we, ourselves need fixing? Who are we actually? Are we just a body of bones, blood and tissue? In order to answer these questions, we would first have to take into consideration who or what is asking this question. Let me tell you a bit about “my story”.

I have dealt with a slew of health issues for a number of years now. I developed chronic fatigue and many other seemingly bizarre symptoms around 2006-2007 including major GI symptoms, temporary hearing loss, vertigo, and most of all terrible allergies, multiple chemical sensitivities and horrific sinus issues in the cold weather. It took me many years of research trying new things to finally come to the realization that there was a much greater factor at play in my own health. As someone who was raised in a family that did not recognize anything health wise, outside of the mainstream, it was very difficult to be on my own researching. I became very badly depressed and developed even worse anxiety than I already had. My mind incessantly drifted to past memories when I was healthy and I started to develop a perspective of “lack”. I kept referencing those things I used to have and used to be able to do and almost felt like giving up at times.

I never considered the role my own thought patterns/beliefs and emotions were playing. While I conceptually understood the notion of the mind/body connection, I could never actually put it all together until recently. There was so much seemingly contradictory information on the internet about diet and nutrition. I tried a slew of diets including hardcore paleo for a period of time, GAPS, Gut Health Protocol, anti-candida diets and others. The longest stretch that I ever went on any diet was about nine months in 2014 on an anti-dysbiosis diet. During this time period, I worked extensively with supplementation to rotate anti-candida supplements for four days at a time including many other digestive supplements. I worked with a number of different nutritionists as well. I will say that I learned a lot and there is no question I discovered things to help my digestion. However, things got worse….

This past December, my symptoms reached a peak after a week of alcohol drinking. A friend of mine had been trying to get me on board with the neuroplasticity bandwagon of brain retraining for quite some time previously. To me, it sounded like a waste of time and did not resonate with me. Yet, she swore by it as someone herself, who almost had fully recovered from life threatening chronic fatigue syndrome largely by using the program.
Things got increasingly worse with my fatigue and GI distress that I decided after doing more research on epi-genetics and neuroplasticty, to give the neural re-wiring a go, and she agreed to coach me through it as my health coach. I embarked on a neural re-wiring program. I really had no expectations and didn’t even feel I was overly prepared once I started on this program. I had so many questions. My mind throughout my life has always been left brain centered and overly analytical. I need to understand the highest workings of something before I can let go and commit to it. My first day of doing the program, I was under a lot of stress and my body was feeling very lousy from chronic fatigue. I hadn’t slept due to construction going on outside of my apartment window related to brick pointing on my building and basically an emotional mess of overwhelming anxiety. After a few rounds of the program throughout the course of that day, and this is not an exaggeration, my symptoms completely disappeared gradually throughout that day and for the next three days before returning again eventually by the end of the weekend when my thought patterns re-surfaced. I realized of course that I will have a lot of work to do to re-train my brain in the long run as this was just a glimpse. However, this seemingly incredible dissipation of my symptoms didn’t just happen from some magical technique. Let me explain.

There is something quite potent here that happened. The program involves mindfulness and a thorough understanding of the fight/flight mechanism (amygdale/limbic system) and how it constantly tries to warn us of impending danger. You see, the human survival mechanism is a vital piece of our lives. It is supposed to warn us of impending danger such as an oncoming animal, as our ancestors were hunter/gatherers. Yet, what happens to most of us is, that mechanism (amygdale or the limbic system) goes into over drive stemming from emotional responses we have learned as children and in turn, limited beliefs we have created which form habitual thought patterns. A good portion of these thought patterns all have strong emotional responses and beliefs that are based in the notions of lack, anxiety, worry, feeling incomplete, desperate for love and most of all…..the feeling of “I am not good enough”. There’s a valid reason for this. FEAR. The human survival mechanism lives off of fear. That’s its job. It’s the security guard for the human body. It’s always on the lookout for “what it perceives to be” danger. These thought patterns are in direct contrast to the natural joy that we are at the core of our spirit. So, when this process goes into effect from a lifetime of limiting beliefs about ourselves, the survival mechanism starts to become conditioned (through our limiting beliefs) to not only warn us of true impending danger, but of mundane situations and triggers which it associates with past situations where beliefs were created, and this produces a slew of habitual thought patterns and “negative” emotional responses based on our perception of the world.

As children, we might have perceived that one of our parents favored a sibling over us due to a false perception we created at that time. Or perhaps, maybe our parents only loved us when we did things as they saw “proper”. And we then developed a perception that we needed to gain the love of other people and things in order to feel that we were good enough. Or perhaps, maybe we had something traumatic happen to us, or we could have picked up energetically aspects of our parents, largely our mother or a combination of all of these. As a result, we take that perception of “I am not good enough” and “neediness” into the world and into our adult lives and this belief grows over time and creates incredible stress in our lives. The amygdale will then start to become triggered in any situation believing that it’s doing well for the body, but actually wrecking havoc. This then over time, affects the immune system, detoxification pathways, the adrenal glands and essentially, every aspect of the human body gets thrown out of homeostasis into a state of dis-ease. There is a plethora of medical information on the aspects of stress and how it relates to the human body which I won’t delve further into it here.


Yet, in my experience described above, through a few simple rounds of brain retraining, I was able to finally step out of the story that was playing in my mind over and over again and see that it was just a story! I came to the conclusion that I was continually buying into fear based thought patterns incessantly based in worry and anxiety that created this perpetual lifelong drama about “me”. The “me” that I took myself to be was a figment of imagination. It was merely a collection of thoughts/feelings/emotions that I believed for so long to be who I truly was. When I felt stressed or worried, it was ME who was feeling this way. When I felt sick, it was ME who felt sick. When I felt rejected, it was ME who was rejected. Ironically, I never questioned the nature of those thought patterns because I was so unconsciously identified with them since childhood. So, after during a few rounds of this brain re-training program (The Gupta Programme), I stepped into an open space of Awareness; a space of Pure Being. My entire mood shifted that night from being stressed and emotional and feeling sick to incredibly in touch with my body. The reason being….I saw that I didn’t have to buy into those thoughts anymore and instead, I chose something different! I chose NOT to indulge in any of these conditioned thinking patterns. It was an intimate experience beyond words. My nervous system shifted from the sympathetic stress state into the parasympathetic state. Every sensation was beautiful. Touching a piece of furniture had a new freshness to it. I remember lying in bed that night with an incredible smile on my face. At the start of the day, my body was so achy and weak. Gradually throughout that day, with no thoughts to judge my symptoms, I simply lovingly started noticing my body…..for the first time in a very long time. The achiness and tiredness in my legs which always had the thought pattern connotation of “I am still not well” associated with it, now was just simply tiredness and fatigue. With no thought created story to back it up, my body started to feel better within each hour that night. I was so joyful to wake up the next morning to just go out and live. I cannot even express it. Eventually, by the end of that weekend (three days later), I started buying into one of my old neural pathways again (conditioned thought patterns) and my symptoms returned. But, all that meant was that there was incredible hope that I absolutely would heal if I committed myself to a full daily practice of meditation, mindfulness throughout the day, positive visualization and most of all self love.

We are interrupting thought patterns. Generally, these thought patterns go by unnoticed, and we simply take them to be our natural state. But, when we step out, and stop them in their tracks, we come to see that we always have a choice! A choice as to which story we want to further create in our lives. Folks, we are always creating a story. We are always creating our reality through our beliefs. But, I am telling you this with love that you do not have to buy into these old conditioned thinking patterns! The minute you say the words “I can”, you put that intention out there. The minute you say “I can’t”, you put THAT intention out there. One is based in abundance and love, and the other is based in fear and doubt. But, at the same time, we don’t push any thoughts away. After all, what you resist….persists, especially in a vibrational reality that’s built of off consciousness. One of the largest aspects of healing is self love. If we can lovingly understand where these conditioned thoughts are stemming from; lovingly understand that our survival mechanism is merely looking out for us, lovingly understand that the survival mechanism is like our inner child who is merely calling out to be heard and held and embraced, we don’t have to be scared of our thoughts, but nor do we have to indulge in them. How beautiful and empowering is that to know that you have the choice to align with a completely different reality than the one you’ve been conditioned to believe and you also have the power to literally change every aspect of health in your body, including your genes (which are not static) and every cellular structure through the power of your own inner emotional state (vibrational state). We are powerful creative beings if we could only realize this.

We can come to see that there is nothing in our experience to fear because who we truly are is this glorious love itself and this unconditional space of pure being.

So, I ask again, who do you believe yourself to be?

Testimonial from their website:
“You gave me my life back. I was broken and you fixed me, I still use the program from time to time as a top up, but I am essentially 100% healed and I know it was your program that did it.

To learn more about The Gupta Programme program Derek used to heal himself, click here.

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Categories: Candida, Derek's Story, DIAGNOSIS, Nutrition, Self Love, and STORIES-OF-HOPE.